


Different

by ebbj9891



Series: In Quest Of Something [62]
Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Monogamy, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-04 16:51:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4145337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebbj9891/pseuds/ebbj9891
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Justin closes his eyes and counts all the ways that this time is different to the others; as he does so, he keeps his arms wrapped around Brian, holding Brian close, embracing him with one thought on his mind: <i>Mine.”</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Different

**Author's Note:**

> This is set soon after the events of _Exclusive_. Feedback is always greatly appreciated :)

“You’re up early.”

Justin glances up from his sketchbook as Brian enters the living room. He’s buttoning his shirt with one hand and smoothing his hair back with the other, clearly eager to get to work. Justin smiles at him and shrugs. “I felt like drawing.”

Brian sits on the armrest of the sofa and peers at Justin’s sketchbook. He touches the page and traces the line of the street, moving his finger slowly uptown. Justin watches the motion of Brian’s finger and then eyes the detail of his work. It’s a near enough rendition of the street below basking under the early morning light. Brian’s arm loop around Justin’s shoulders and his fingers find their way to Justin’s collarbone. As they stroke back and forth affectionately, Brian queries, “What time did you get up? I didn’t even notice.” 

“About four. I couldn’t sleep.” 

“Like a kid on Christmas morning, huh?” 

Anxiousness squirms in the pit of Justin’s stomach. He stares out the window at the emerging daylight and quietly points out, “We don’t know if it’s Christmas morning yet.”

“Why,” Brian asks, pausing to kiss Justin’s forehead, “Are you so nervous? We’ve only done this - what - a million times?”

Justin shrugs. “This time is different.”

“It sure will be.” Brian nuzzles Justin’s cheek, a contented hum rumbling softly from him. “I have to get to work. Cynthia and I have a breakfast meeting with the reps from Lundsco.”

He stands up and straightens his tie. Justin beckons to him and urges, “Come here.”

Brian leans in, letting Justin take over. He takes the forest green silk between his fingers and carefully fixes the tie so that it sits perfectly. Then he kisses Brian and whispers, “See you tonight.”

“Six o’clock sharp,” Brian reminds him. “You’d better be on time.”

“I will be,” Justin promises. They kiss once more and then he watches Brian leave. Once the door has clicked shut, Justin returns to watching the inky blue sky subside, revealing dull hints of sunlight to greet the day. It's such a calming sight - or at least it ought to be. But Justin can't quite shake his sense of nervousness; it's been with him since he woke up and simply won’t let him be. It’s a persistent little fucker, that’s for damn sure.

*

The nervous energy flickering inside him pushes him to fill the entire sketchbook by mid-morning. With every page adorned and nothing left to do, Justin gets up and heads towards the bedroom. He grabs the suitcases from the corner and wheels them down the hallway to stash them in the living area.

After finding a spot for them, he opens them and checks through them once more. He and Brian already triple-checked them last night, but it can’t hurt to check them again. Justin rifles through the luggage and makes sure everything is there: clothes, toiletries, art supplies. It’s all accounted for. They're all ready to go, bright and early tomorrow morning. Still, a sense of nervousness pervades him. It keeps warping into restlessness; he needs something to do, something to take his mind off everything.

At that very moment, the universe rewards him: his phone starts ringing. Justin grabs it out of his pocket, grins, and answers hastily. “Hey, Gussy.”

“Are you guys still abandoning me?”

“We’re not abandoning you,” Justin says, laughing. “We’re going away on vacation for a few weeks, that’s all.”

Sulkily, Gus mutters, “You could take me with you. I don’t see why I have to be stuck in school while you guys parade around Europe _again_.”

“Uh, speaking of which... why aren’t you in school right now?”

“I am! I have this period free. I’m in the library.”

“And you’re on your phone?”

“I found a quiet spot. I wanted to talk to you before you left.”

Justin feels quite touched. He can’t help but smile. “That’s nice, Gussy, but I don’t want you getting in trouble. And we’re not leaving until tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Gus says, sounding perplexed. “But Dad told me I couldn’t call you tonight.”

“Oh, right. We’re going to be… out,” Justin lies, but he’s not quick enough. Gus catches him out immediately.

Sounding utterly repulsed, Gus cries, “Ew, Jus! **Ew**.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“I know what you meant! Gross. _Gross._ I’m hanging up now.”

Very quickly, before Gus can hang up the phone, Justin says, “Love you, Gussy.”

After heaving a very weary sigh, Gus mutters sternly, “Love you too.”

Then he hangs up. Justin sits down on top of the suitcases and thinks of the weeks ahead: so many different places to visit, so many different sights to see… and hopefully, that won’t be all that’s different.

The nervousness and restlessness return in a huge rush. Justin realises he can’t take it any longer - he pulls himself up and grabs his stuff. There’s an entire world outside the front door harbouring endless distractions - at least, he can only hope that’s the case. Justin decides to brave the city and find out. He heads out in a hurry, keen to find something to fill the remaining seven hours until his fateful meeting with Brian.

*

Justin fills those seven hours as best he can: he flees to Brooklyn for a while, where he spends most of the afternoon dragging himself around bookshops and galleries, desperately searching for anything to preoccupy him. When he runs out of distractions there, he heads back on the train and lets it carry him all the way uptown to the very top of Central Park. With time to spare, Justin journeys slowly through the park, exploring various pockets of it mindlessly.

He tries not to think about where he needs to be at 6 o’clock or how anxious it’s making him. He focuses on the chilled wind flittering through the park, rustling through the trees, rippling across the lake. Fall is well and truly over - winter has arrived, and the sting in Justin’s cheeks hints that it’s here to stay.

At half past five, he pulls himself together and heads over to Brian’s office. On the way, he takes comfort in the surrounding city: its sights and sounds are ever so familiar, and to see it amidst fading evening light is a treat. As the city so often does, it rejuvenates Justin. He arrives at Kinnetik feeling a fraction more confident.

That confidence is instantly heightened when he sees Brian waiting for him. Justin greets him with a grin and a kiss. “How was your day?”

“Excellent.” Brian slinks an arm around Justin’s waist and guides him into his office. “Yours?”

“Pretty good.” Justin flops down in one of the two chairs facing Brian’s desk. “Gus called - he’s still sulking about us not taking him on the trip.”

Brian sits down in his own seat whilst smirking. “Does he realise that 99% of the itinerary is either shit he’s not interested in, shit he’s not allowed to do, or… _certain activities_ that he wouldn’t want to witness?”

With a burst of laughter, Justin says, “I don’t think he’s thought any of that through. He just wants out of school for the next few weeks.”

“Tough.” Brian’s smirk grows. “I want you all to myself.”

“I’ve been hearing that a lot lately,” Justin teases, beaming at Brian. “Speaking of which… I believe we have a phone call to make.”

“I believe we do.” Brian grabs the phone and picks up the handset. “Can you read out the number?”

Justin fishes the card for their doctor out of his pocket. He almost fumbles it; the sense of nervousness has returned with a vengeance. He takes a deep breath, exhales slowly, then reads it out to Brian. He watches Brian punch in the numbers and listens to the keypad beep - with every beep, his heartrate seems to accelerate.

“Dr. Matthews?” Brian watches Justin with an apprehensive expression as he talks to their doctor. “Brian Kinney here. I’m with my husband - we’re calling for our test results.”

Justin’s heart twists in his chest. It almost feels like it might balloon up and burst through his ribcage. He keeps his gaze fixed on Brian and monitors him carefully. There’s nothing telltale, though - Brian’s face is almost entirely blank.

“Right. Yeah. Absolutely, I’ll tell him.” Brian closes his eyes and nods slowly. “Of course, Doc. Thank you. Yeah, you have a good night, too.”

As Brian hangs up the phone, Justin wants to demand to know what was said, but his heart is pummelling the back of his throat and obstructing his facility for speech. Brian looks at him very solemnly and presses his lips together. Then he averts his gaze momentarily, at which point Justin’s heart begins to sink.

Something is wrong. Of fucking  _course_ something is wrong! Panicking, Justin opens his mouth to demand the truth - that’s when Brian grins and announces, “We’re clean.”

“Excuse me?”

Brian gets up and circles the desk to pull Justin out of his seat. He marches Justin backwards and pushes him up against the window. “You and I are clean. We have a perfect bill of health.”

Justin stares at Brian silently for a moment as it sinks in. When it finally registers, he grabs two handfuls of Brian’s shirt and tugs on them, bringing Brian closer to him.

“Asshole,” he admonishes, grinning at his treacherous husband. “You fucking scared me!”

Snickering, Brian teases, “The look on your face, Sunshi-”

Justin cuts him off with a kiss. He keeps a strong hold on Brian’s shirt and doesn’t let go until they’re both on the cusp of breathlessness. When Justin finally pulls away, he’s only spared a second or so to gather his breath before Brian’s lips are crushed against his again.

“Are you sure about this?” Justin mumbles, his words almost lost in amidst all the kissing.

Brian responds by grabbing a fistful of his hair and tugging on it. Justin gasps as his head is yanked back; he stares into Brian’s eyes, fiery and full of want, and almost moans. Brian presses another firm kiss to Justin’s lips, then another to his jaw, then one more to the hollow of his throat. In a low, intense growl, Brian replies, “I am so fucking sure about this. Like I said before - I want you all to myself.”

Justin grins, then gasps as Brian’s teeth close down on his neck. He closes his eyes and enjoys Brian’s biting, nipping, sucking - all of it so fucking good, all of it just for him. Blissfully happy, Justin promises, “I’m all yours.”

*

The next thirty minutes pass in a blur. One minute, they’re making out in Brian’s office; the next, they’re back home and Justin is being slammed up against their bedroom door. He has a vague recollection of a cab ride - he probably wouldn’t remember it at all, if it weren’t for the livid driver who berated them for their bad behaviour in the backseat. That doesn’t matter now, though - all that matters is that they’re home, they’re clean, they’re exclusive…

… and for the first time in a long time, they’re both about to experience something entirely different. Justin can’t wait. He also can’t bear to separate himself from Brian, so whilst they continue kissing, he grabs blindly for the doorknob and manages to fumble it open. They almost topple over as the door swings open, but Brian manages to keep them upright as he coils an arm around Justin’s waist and maneuvers them towards their bed.

They collapse onto it together in one big, tangled mess. Justin laughs as they unknot themselves and find a better position; he positions himself with his head amongst the pillows, while Brian straddles him and removes their remaining items of clothing. They lost their shoes and pants somewhere in the hallway; now they’re down to their shirts (Brian’s is already torn wide open), socks (Justin’s left one has been lost somewhere in the chaos), and briefs. All are soon done away with, leaving both of them stripped bare.

Even though they’ve been exclusive for a while now, it’s really only just beginning to sink in. Justin reaches out and strokes his fingers up Brian’s left thigh, slowly mapping what’s his and his alone. They’ve agreed that it’s alright to return to how things were if need be, but for now, they’re only each other’s. It thrills Justin to know that Brian - this incredible, beautiful, wonderful man - wants him and only him.

As Justin savours that knowledge, Brian dips down and starts kissing his neck. It’s great, but there’s one thing and one thing only on Justin’s mind. He laces his fingers through Brian’s hair and murmurs in his ear, “I want it now.”

Brian lifts his head and smirks at Justin. “You want what now?”

“I want you to fuck me raw,” Justin says, grinning as he watches Brian’s gaze grow dark and fiery. “Come on - fuck me hard and come inside me.”

Brian stares at him for a while, seemingly stunned. Justin is momentarily concerned that he’s broken him. Then Brian rushes into action; he smashes his mouth against Justin’s, grabs the lube from the nightstand, then shoves it into Justin’s hand and orders roughly, “Get yourself ready.”

“Bossy,” Justin teases with a chuckle.

“Slutty,” Brian teases back with a grin.

He then rolls to the side and lies next to Justin, watching with heated intrigue as Justin uncaps the lube and slicks his fingers with it. Justin keeps his gaze pinned on Brian as he preps himself; he can’t get enough of the look on Brian’s face, the way his every feature is saturated with want.

“Come here,” Justin urges as soon as he’s ready. As Brian mounts him, he grins and adds cheekily, “And come inside me.”

“Right now?” Brian laughs. “I think I can last a bit longer than that, Sunshine.”

Justin reaches up and slides both of his hands deep into Brian’s hair. It’s longer than usual; he hasn’t had it cut in a while. Justin smiles as he runs his fingers through it; it really does feel ever so lovely.

What feels even more lovely is the touch of Brian’s lips to his - it’s a soft kiss, so unlike all the other kisses they’ve shared this evening. Justin treasures its difference and kisses Brian back with matched tenderness.

“Ready?” Brian asks, his breath grazing Justin’s cheek.

Justin spreads his legs a little wider, inviting Brian closer. “Ready.”

He closes his eyes and savours the feeling of Brian’s cock nudging at him, pushing inside, thrusting in deep - completely bare, completely raw. Justin groans as he feels Brian filling him to the hilt. And then…

… nothing. Justin opens his eyes and peers up at Brian, who is frozen atop him with a strange look on his face. It’s split between intense pleasure and deep, deep concentration.

Justin strokes his hands through Brian’s hair and asks gently, “How does it feel?”

“Fucking incredible,” Brian groans. His tongue swipes out to lick his lips. “You feel so fucking good.”

“Good,” Justin echoes encouragingly. He rolls his hips; the motion draws a strangled moan out of Brian. “Come on, fuck me.”

“You’re going to have to give me a minute.”

“Really?” Justin feels quite flattered. He grins and gloats, “So the great Brian Kinney needs a minute, huh?”

Brian narrows his eyes. “Let’s see how you fare when it’s your turn, you little shit.”

“That’s immaterial at this present moment.” Justin smirks and rolls his hips again - twice this time, and quicker.

“Fuck,” Brian gasps. He gives Justin a stern look. “You’re going to get it for that.”

Justin grins. “I sure hope so.”

With a look of determination, Brian pulls back slowly, then thrusts in nice and deep. Justin slips his hands down to Brian’s sides and strokes them gently, encouraging Brian as his thrusts accelerate. He arches up and kisses Brian’s neck, then pleads, “More.”

Brian instantly delivers - he starts slamming into Justin with delectable intensity. Then he curses and growls, “I’m not going to last.”

“Really?” Justin grins and slides his hands down further to grope at Brian’s ass and pull Brian in deeper. 

“Justin,” Brian protests thinly, “If you keep that up-”

“What?” Justin starts meeting Brian’s every thrust eagerly. “Are you gonna come?”

“Like a fucking teenager,” Brian laments sulkily. “Seriously-”

 _“Seriously_ \- that’s what I want,” Justin says, squeezing Brian’s ass again. “Do you have any idea how good you feel? Do you know how goddamn good it feels, having your cock inside me - raw? I want you to come inside me. I want to feel you filling me up. _Now."_

 _“Fuck,”_ Brian growls. His hands find Justin’s hips and he grasps them tight. Justin loops his arms around Brian’s neck and pulls him in close, drawing their bodies flush together, bringing Brian near enough so that they can share another kiss. With their lips smashed together, their moans are muted momentarily. Even as they part from the kiss, Justin holds Brian close and continues whispering filthy pleas in his partner’s ear, drawing Brian closer and closer to the edge.

When Brian comes with a sharp cry of Justin’s name, Justin gives in, too. It’s all so goddamned good - Brian’s body, hot and sweaty against his; his name sliding off Brian’s tongue alongside deeply satisfied moans; Brian’s cock thrust deep inside him, throbbing, spilling and filling Justin up. That’s how he comes - with Brian on top of him, coming inside him, moaning and crying out his name.

They’ve only done this a million times before - probably a lot more - but this time it’s different. Justin closes his eyes and counts all the ways that this time is different to the others; as he does so, he keeps his arms wrapped around Brian, holding Brian close, embracing him with one thought on his mind: _Mine._

*

 “You’re being very greedy,” Justin gripes as Brian fucks him for the third time that night. 

“As I should be,” Brian says, “I’ve waited longer for this than you have.”

“Not in the context of our relationship!”

“Do you want me to stop? Because if you’re that desperate to have your turn…” Brian freezes demonstratively, “... I’ll stop.”

Justin pauses to consider the situation. Brian is plastered over his back and his cock is stuffed deep inside Justin - it’s deliciously hard and filling Justin perfectly. It feels so fucking good - **_so_  **fucking good. With a soft moan, Justin pleads, “No, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

“That’s what I thought,” Brian says smugly. He grasps Justin’s hips firmly and resumes pounding into him.

Justin groans as Brian picks up the pace, each of his thrusts harder than the last. “I just want to know when I’m going to actually get my turn.”

“You’ll get your turn,” Brian thrusts deeper, making Justin cry out with pleasure, “When I decide you’re good and ready to have your turn.”

“You mean when _you’re_ good and ready for me to have my turn.”

“Well,” Brian laughs, “Yeah.”

Justin starts laughing as well, but it’s soon forgotten as Brian’s thrusts accelarate, each one of them angled perfectly, reducing Justin to a writing, begging mess. His turn can wait. This is too fucking good.

*

“If we ever want to go back…” Justin swirls a handful of suds over Brian’s wet chest.

“I don’t,” Brian says resolutely, “But if I ever do, I’ll let you know.”

“Good.” Justin gives Brian’s chest another affectionate scrub, smiles at him, and then turns around to continue rinsing off. “I appreciate that.”

As the shower pours down over both of them, Justin ducks his head under the spray and enjoys the hot water sliding through his hair and coursing down his neck and face. He’s sore all over and is guessing Brian probably is, too. It’s almost dawn, after all; they’ve been fucking all night long. Justin hasn’t slept in almost twenty-four hours. He couldn’t care less though - there are more important things than sleep.

Like fucking Brian raw and feeling like an out-of-control seventeen-year-old all over again. Justin came so hard and so fast, he felt like he’d been catapulted back fifteen years into the past. In the hours that have passed since then, both he and Brian have attempted to work on their technique and rebuild the stamina they were once famed for. All of the practice has helped a little. Justin thinks that their impending vacation will help a lot - they have dozens of hotel suites to break in and practice in to their heart’s content.

Justin grins as Brian’s arms wrap around him from behind. As he sinks into the strong embrace, he hears Brian murmur, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Justin twists around in Brian’s arms and smiles up at him. “For bringing shame upon our household with how quickly I came before?”

Brian snorts. “No. For all the rest of it.”

How very cryptic. As Justin nuzzles his husband adoringly, he prompts, “All the rest of it, huh?”

“All the rest of it,” Brian echoes, smiling meaningfully at Justin.

The smile says it all. Justin grins back and draws Brian in for another kiss.

*

Two weeks later, three cities later, and countless fucks later, Justin takes Brian out to a nightclub in Paris - one that they’ve visited many times before. It’s changed again: different decor, different music, different crowd.

Different them.

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind of difference. Part of that can be attributed to their non-stop travelling. The rest of it, though… it’s shared between the two of them. As the music in the club vibrates all around them, Justin draws in closer to Brian, seeking out closeness, craving Brian and _only_ Brian. 

“You look fucking gorgeous,” Brian says, his lips grazing Justin’s earlobe softly - a gentle tease, a tantalising promise.

“All these hot guys everywhere,” Justin muses as he scans the club, “And you only want me.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Brian swoops in and kisses him; it starts out light and then spirals into something greedy and possessive. It’s so good that Justin almost whimpers when Brian pulls away. With an arched brow, Brian challenges, “And you? What about you, Sunshine?”

Justin looks at Brian, illuminated underneath the club’s glittering lights. As always, he’s heartachingly beautiful. A smile begins to grow on Justin’s face. As he gazes at Brian, everyone else is forgotten. It’s as though it’s just the two of them, in the heart of the club, surrounded by sparkling lights and pounding music. 

“I’m all yours,” Justin says with a delighted grin. “There’s nobody else worth having.”

Brian grins back. “You can say that again.”

**The End**


End file.
